Living St. Francis: Can I really do it?

I've been thinking lately about the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi, especially this line: "Grant that I may not so much seek to be loved, as to love."

This morning, I was looking for something unique to put on Christmas cards about the birth of Jesus ---such a lofty reason for reading the Bible. I came across the passage about Joseph realizing Mary, his betrothed, was pregnant, and he wasn't the daddy.

"Joseph, her fiancé, being a just man, decided to break the engagement quietly, so as not to disgrace her publicly" (Matt 1:19, NLT LASB).

Joseph did what the St. Francis prayer says. He showed love, even when his heart was broken. He showed respect, even when he felt disrespected. He cared first about her, and then about himself. If he was here today, he wouldn't go on Jerry Springer or Cheaters to publicly humiliate her. Knowing nothing else about Joseph, the man, he shines with a new light for me. It says more about Joseph than it does about Mary. It's not about what she did ---what he thought she did--- but about how he responded. That was with love and respect, no matter what.

It's easy to love strangers and not expect love back, but when someone close insults me, can I still show love? Like Joseph, it doesn't mean I continue in hurtful situations, but Joseph was better than I am at pulling back without trying to rally public support for a private injustice. When my feelings are hurt, or my pride wounded, can I quietly walk away without telling anyone why? It goes beyond radical insults, like unfaithfulness, to everyday thoughtless comments. Can I show love first, and quietly distance myself? I'm not so sure I have in the past ---okay, I'm sure I haven't. But today, I'm going to try to be more like Joseph and live the prayer of St. Francis. If someone is hurtful or a place is wrong for me, I'll make plans to move on privately, so as not to disgrace anyone publicly, because that's the kind of person I want to be. It has less to do with that other person, and everything to do with me.

That's how Joseph showed what the prayer of St. Francis taught. "Grant that I may not so much seek to be loved, as to love."